Happy New Year! May this year be filled with loving relationships, compassion, friendship, curiosity, good health, fun times and abundance.
I believe this is a wonderful time to look at the year ahead and set goals personally and for your relationship. Most of us are used to setting resolutions for ourselves but often we do not extend that to our most intimate relationship(s). An exercise that I Love to do is look back at the last year and appreciate one thing about myself in my relationship that I am proud of and then to have my partner do the same and share that with each other. Then to also commit to one behaviour change each that we will commit to on behalf of the relationship. It is also a great time to either do your relationship vision or to review and revise your current one. If you are single do the same with a friend.
Wishing you the very best for 2012.
Maureen, Sandra and Yvonne.
2011 in Perspective at MBA.
Wow so many wonderful things occurred this year for us. Here is a smattering ...
1. Maureen successfully took part in a new TV Documentary series "Intervention Canada" that can be seen on Slice TV Channel 41. Stay tuned to see what 2012 holds.
2. Sandra continues to collaborate with Boost Child Abuse Intervention and Prevention as a clinician and educator in the area of early childhood mental health and attachment and in relational approach to healing. In addition, following her 2010 graduation from the Center for Intentional Living in New York, Sandra has strived to bring the program to Toronto. It is with excitement that she’d like to announce the full 3-year training starting in Toronto in April 2012!
3. First Imago Community Educator Course was offered. Yvonne Singer has officially become a Certified Imago Community Educator.
4. Recovering our Connection - A Getting the Love You Want Workshop for Recovering Couples has been also successfully launched. Maureen is now offering this workshop on a regular basis. Dates can be found on the website. Don't miss this opportunity to meet with other recovering couples on the journey of healing together. This workshop has been designed especially to help Recovering Couples to regain their connection.
5. Check out our new Addictions Services page on our website at www.successfulrelationships.ca.
New at MBA.
1. New Imago Parenting Program...
We are delighted to be offering this new program called "Connected Parents, Thriving Kids". This much awaited course will be offered by our very own Jeanine Lapointe on an 8 successive weekends.
All classes would begin Friday at 6:30pm to 9:00pm and Saturday and Sunday from 9:00am to 6:00pm; here are some dates: Spring first half: April 27, 28 & 29 and second half May 4, 5 & 6. For more information and to register please contact Janine Lapointe at 905-547-4251 or firstname.lastname@example.org
2. Imago Connects continues! Already hooked on Imago and have some friends and family that you’d like to get introduced to Imago but not sure how to do it? Wanting to “polish” your Imago-skills, or interested in taking your relationship to the next level? Wanting to understand relationship patterns and dynamics? Come join us for a 3h introduction to Imago Therapy & Theory. Next Imago Connects seminar comes February 6th and March 19th at 6:30pm.
* * * *
“True Dialogue is the one where Both Parties are willing to Change”
By Sandra Pribanic
Most people, when asked what they fear the most, reply “not living to my utmost potential”. Not living up to our dreams applies to our relationships, too. More often than not, we find ourselves bogged down at an impasse. More often than not we need some kind of a precipice to change. More often than not we give up, tired from the exhaustion of the struggle, weary and hurt. Very rarely we hear about the struggle as a possibility to be “our moment” (you need an Imago-therapist to tell you that). What is trying to happen?
Imagine this: that every negative affect has a longing, a wish, underneath.
Let’s search for that.
If we are honest with ourselves and if we are brave enough to open up with some “vulnerable trust” (as I heard a colleague wonderfully name it), then peeling off the layers of struggle often reveals a place of wondering whether I am still precious to my partner, can I trust, do I matter, will (my partner) respond (to me, my needs, etc); and so on. Such questions are tightly tied to the sense of who we are. These are not just “some” questions; they are the basis of the adult connectedness, or in therapy-lingo, attachment. Attachment is nowadays a buzz word in psychology. But attachment is not just a theory - most importantly it is a vital force, and a base for any recovery. We need it (with other humans) at first to survive, but throughout our lives, and always, to thrive. Just as attachment is imprinted within us as an invisible map that is shaped from the earlier times, relationship healing might seem equally elusive. I could tell you about the attachment theory, or neurobiology of repair (apparently, biochemically/physiologically we need those 20 minutes of “time-off” from each other before addressing an issue – turtles/minimizers of the world, rejoice!), and such information is sometimes important. However, the theory won’t do much, unless there is an experiential moment that follows it.
So try this:
What does “to really connect” mean to you? How would it be for you to just sit & talk? Can you imagine it? Are you bored? Scared? Have anything to say? What would you feel if you were be doing that? Explore the whole world of possibilities of turning yourself towards your partner. One thing that I learned in my practice and that I am sharing with my clients is that the “winner” is actually the one who makes the first bid of connection (no, not the one who can stonewall or stay away the longest). Offer one small vulnerable truth about yourself. Most of us, when met with the vulnerable, will share our own vulnerable pieces. That is all it takes; one small bid of connection; one small step towards each other.
Know that successful couples are not the ones who don’t fight, but the ones who have the ability to repair when in conflict.
So turn on (your own vulnerability), attune (to what is trying to happen below that bugging conflict), and connect (in any one small way). Imago-Dialogue.
* * * *
Relationship Tip Corner
Be the one to make the first bid of connection. Begin by thinking positive thoughts each day about your partner and your relationship. Remove all negativity, shame and blame from your relational space. Dialogue your problems to resolution.
Take the time to give your partner two appreciations on a daily basis. Remember two appreciations a day will keep the Imago therapist away.
We create our own context We make it happen! Be intentional with each other in not just your actions, your thoughts and dialogue with each other.
Practice being "Imago intentional" in your relationships with family and friends. If you haven't done a Keeping the Love You Find Workshop, plan to do so this month January 27 -29 2012. You can get ready for the relationship of your dreams in the meantime.
Give yourself and a friend an appreciation a day.
Last word on Dialogue....Imago Dialogue is the language:
- Of Relationship
- Of Love
- Of Connection
- Of Peace
- Of Universality
Remember peace begins at home
Maureen Brine’s Workshop Dates for 2012
Getting the Love You Want Couples Workshop 2012
- January 13, 14 & 15
- March 23, 24 & 25
- May 25, 26 & 27
- July 20, 21 & 22
- Sept. 21, 22 & 23
- Nov. 09, 10 & 11
Recovering Our Connection a workshop for Couples in Recovery
- February 16, 17, 18 & 19
- April 12, 13, 14 & 15
- June 07, 08, 09 & 10
- August 09, 10, 11 & 12
- October 25, 26, 27 & 28
- December 06, 07, 08 & 09
Keeping the Love You Find Singles Workshop 2012
- January 27, 28 & 29
- November 02, 03 & 04
Maureen Brine’s Trainings Dates for 2012
Workshop Presenters Training for Recovering Our Connection Workshop
This is a 5 day certification Course for Workshop Presenters
Preparation for Committed Partnership: Singles Clinical Training:
Workshop Presenters Training in Toronto GTLYW
- Session I: June 12 to 15
- Session II: Sept. 18 to 21
- Session III: Jan. 29 to Feb.1
Basic Clinical Training in Toronto, 2012
- Session I : May 22 to 25
- Session II: Sept. 11 to14
- Session III: Dec. 11 to 14
Workshop Presenters Training in South Africa
- Session I: Feb. 22 to 25
- Session II: June 25 to 29
- Session III: Nov. 20 to 23